He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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