also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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