Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
