Your dad touched me again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
