Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize