if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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