I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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