some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize