You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
