I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize