She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want to make a zoo with you.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
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Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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