You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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