The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
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Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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