I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
