fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
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Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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