I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
