Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
