Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
