We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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