haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
