This is not my ceiling
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize