pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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