All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
