i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
