He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
