bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
