If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
