And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
