it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
