it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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