it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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