My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
