Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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