There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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