I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
