Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
