Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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