Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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