I feel like abortions should bother me more
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
