So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
FUCK WHALES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
