We're facebook friends in real life
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
