She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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