Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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