That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
even my farts smell like vagina
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood