If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.