i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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