If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN