Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
