i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
