I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
