K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
