He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
