Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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