I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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