Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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