He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
