Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
