Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't turn off my feet"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
