yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
