She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize