Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
