Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
