so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
