Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
