Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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